God's Fingerprints

www.rmhc.org Throughout my life I have been a Christian, raised in a christian home, went to church with the family. Joined the appropriate groups in high schools that dubs you one of "those people." I've had struggles like everyone else. I've prayed over rent, the car repairs that should have fixed a month ago. Been on bended knee about, family situations that were to painful to get into so I just started to cry into a tissue, and asked the ladies at the pray group if they didn't mind keeping me on the list for a while, or until the wind changed direction. Then my life took just that, an out of my control direction that had no direction. Fingerprints.

John and I had been married for about a year and a half when I got pregnant and as God would determine this outcome to be with him instead of us.  We were so very sad and upset, and to those of you out there that have had miscarriages you know the sense of loss that this brings to a marriage, and to one's own heart as a woman.  I was worried that I had done something wrong, or I was being punished in some weird cosmic way.  But our God doesn't love us that way, that was someone else trying to get the best of me.  
We decide to keep trying to have a child and if it was meant to be then it would happen, if not then so be it.  Let nature take it's course.  God was in control, boy was that an understatement. 
A couple of years down the road and I was working at Belks Department Store selling cosmetics for Estee' Lauder.  I had to work holidays and nights but I had commission and that was a good thing.  We were saving for a house and I wanted one so badly.  We lived in a tiny two bedroom/one bath apartment in Weaverville and it was on the second floor.  Every move we made our dear neighbors below could hear, and didn't think twice about telling us that they were inconvenienced.  Looking back on it now, it was one of the fingerprints for sure, without it, we wouldn't have the appreciation for the house we have today, nor the patience it took to get it.
By July of that year I was pregnant again, and all the girls that I worked with were ecstatic.  People just love it when there's a baby to be born, they rub your belly and do this ring test to see if its a boy or girl.  I just enjoyed the attention.  Everyone thought I was going to have a boy, even the nurses said "yep this is a boy for sure."  We went over to see my Mother and Dad and told them, and she said "oh I don't know, I think you all better pick out a girls name, not just a boys name.  Good advice from a wise woman.  So we got out the Bible, yet another fingerprint, and I turned to the book of Exodus and found all the descendants of Abraham.  There is was, it seemed to jump off the page at me.  Jamin.  It was a man's name but I thought it was different and it was pretty.  Very unusual, but strong and unique I thought. Why did these thought come to me?  I know now, but the thing is, unusual, strong and unique are all good and positive things in my minds eye.  God knew this to be a good thing in my heart as well.  But I didn't.  Not then.   When I told people the name I had picked out some said, oh that's kinds different isn't it, where did you get THAT name?  AH, the Bible.  oh.  Enough was said.   
Jamin came into this world on March eight, 1987, and all of sudden that direction that I was talking about, that when mine took a Sharpe turn that I didn't see coming.  When Jamin was born, she was as purple as a grape, this indicated heart trouble.  But John and I being new parent, we didn't understand this, never being parents before or seeing a live birth.  They took Jamin from us immediately, and said that I needed to rest, that they were going to clean her up.  Well, being exhausted from just giving birth I said "sounds good." I thought that they were going to bring her right back.  
They wheeled me to my room and I went to sleep, John gave me a kiss and said he was going home to shower and he'd be right back.  He told me to get some more rest and we would see Jamin shortly.  I tried to sleep, dozing in and out but I wanted to see my baby.  Where was my baby?  It couldn't be taking this long to clean her up.  I called for my nurse and and she said, "oh it Mrs. Eilers, Yes its, me, where's my baby?  Has your Doctor been by to talk to you yet?  No.  OK. Then.  Well someone will be by soon.  I waited, and I waited, still nothing.  Then I called the nursery. " I want to see my baby, NOW. "
In a few minutes, a lady Doctor to whom I wasn't familiar, although I knew she was apart of the practice that I went to.  My Doctor was no where to be found, after the delivery I think he must have skipped town or something or at least that's what it felt like.  She stepped over to my bedside and said, " Mrs. Eilers, we need to talk about your baby, and I said "I know she wonderful isn't she."  Yes, however, there's quite a few problems that we need to discuss, and I need to tell you that she has trisomy 21, Downs Syndrome.  Also, she has a heart problem called Endocardial Cushion Defect. There is a good chance she won't make it through the night unless we transport her to Bowman-Grey Hospital in Winston Salem as soon as possible.  Do you need to call anyone? I sat with my mouth open wide saying, "You have the wrong room, I'm Joy Eilers and I just had a beautiful baby girl named Jamin and she gonna be fine, now you need to go.  No, I have the right room, and I know who you are.  Sometime these things just happen.
My eyes were so full of tears, my heart broken, and how dare this person just tell me all this horrible new about my baby while I have no one beside me.  I was all alone.  That was the most horrifying experience I have to date.  That Doctor actually picked up the phone to hand it me to call John.  I said, "I'm NOT calling my husband, my sweet husband and telling him what you just said, your so good at it, you tell him." Without wavering or blinking she "what's the number? 
John got there as quickly as he could, and so did everyone else in the family.  I believe our saving grace, another fingerprint, was Dr. Litzenberger, he had been assigned to Jamin's case.  He was kind, when we were scared to death and worried that our child was about to die.  Being a pediatric cardiac man, he made things simple, so you could understand them.  Talked with low tones and a big smiles.  He reached over and got a paper towel from the holder and took his pen from his pocket.  Proceeded to draw a big plus sign on the paper towel.  Then he discussed with us what exactly was wrong with Jamin's heart.  How they intended on fixing it, and what we needed to expect over the next few years of her life.  Very simple.  It wasn't what we had envisioned.  But it was what God gave us and she was a gift.  We had a little fighter down the hall, and did we want to go see her.  This man gave us hope, love and the strength to decide what to do, just because of his humanity and kindness.  Fingerprints.
We were able to see her for a moment, but they needed to get her on the ambulance to Bowman-Grey, so we walked her down to the elevator.  They took a picture of her for me so I could hold it, as I could not be discharged yet.  I called my cousin Madelon who is like a sister to me and a been a nurse for years in cardiology.  She lives in Charlotte and when I told her she got in her car and met the ambulance and sat in the waiting room til we could get there in case something went wrong, Jamin would have family there.  Fingerprints. 
I was discharged the next day, but not by having it out with the nurses first.  I was packed and ready to go when this nurse said "oh you have to been signed out by a physician."  "Look here, my baby was taken from me last night, and your telling me I have to lay here and wait on some Doctor to make rounds, before I can get on the road and drive two and a half hours and get a room, check in and then find out when my child is. Is that what your telling' me?  "I didn't look at your chart, um mm, I'll be right back.  I knew my frankness was somewhat rude, but I was tired, broken, and every time I looked at anyone I began to cry.  The nurse came back in a flash, with a hug for me, and said " here are your discharge papers, you can leave anytime your ready, your in my prayers.  Fingerprints.
We got on the road, with like fifty dollars in our pocket and John's mom and dad have arrangement for us to stay at the Howard Johnson's that first night.  We get a settled in and get over to the hospital.  We finally found the peds.ICU and Madelon in the waiting room.  She had gotten the flu and was going to go on home at this point.  I can't believe she sat there the whole night, sick.  That's what families do for each other, in times like this.  I'll never forget it nor what it took for her to go there knowing that they would not let her she Jamin at all. 
When the nurses saw that we were the family, they made us wash up, mask up, and then they let us back.  They said she hadn't moved since they brought her in.  She was in an one of those little thing with the port holes on the sides and I asked if I could open one and touch her hand.  Her head was turned away from me, and as I opened the port hole and I lifted her little hand, I said "Hey baby, hey", and when I did that her head came up and so did her blood pressure!  She turned to looked at me and I kept on talking to her.  After that we knew Dr. Litzenberger was right, we did have a fighter, and everything was gonna be alright.  Fingerprints.
John had started to tear up a bit and had asked the nurse if we might be able to hold her and there was a rocking chair right beside her station.  We were there with her and talking to her and her nurses, and they had decided to wait until she was a little older to do the heart surgery, if possible.  They were going to keep her for a while to watch her to see if she improved like they were hoping she would.  John and I just looked at each other, knowing we had no where to stay over the next few nights knowing that when we where with her we saw such improvement.  We didn't want to leave. What were we going to do?  This conversation between John and I was about as quiet as two church mice hiding under a pew.  Now how this nurse heard our conversation I will never know, but she came over and said "hey, have you guys ever heard of The Ronald McDonald House?  There is usually a waiting list, but I can call if you want me too, it's for parents of sick children.  Do you want me to call?  "Yes, please that would be great, Thank you."  In a few moments she was back, and she said Well, your in for tomorrow night, is that okay?  We both just started to cry all the while holding on to Jamin.  God's fingerprints
We would stay at the Ronald McDonald House many nights thereafter, and what a blessing it was to us as it became a home away from home.  Close to the hospital, yet far enough away to give yourself  a good home cooked meal or a nap when needed.  God really blessed us with good friends that brought food and money when we needed it, and clothes when we needed that too. When Jamin had her heart surgery at seven months were stayed there for about a month, never having to give up our room one time.   It's funny what a new toothbrush can mean when you don't have one.  I support the Ronald McDonald House and all they do, because they do so much more than it appears on the outside.  They give refuge to tired families, food when your too tired from crying, and a warm place to sleep when you didn't have one.  I do believe John and I were touched by living angels walking around in Winston Salem.  That is the truth or how I believe we got through the first few months of Jamin's life.  Now, that she about to turn 23, and doing so well it truly is a continued blessing and God's fingerprints are all over, if we choose to see them.